Judith Martin

The Polite Power of Strategic Vagueness

The quote also hints at how people use detail to amplify meanness. Cruelty often arrives with receipts: a catalog of flaws, timestamps, comparisons, and “just being honest” disclaimers. By contrast, vagueness disarms the speaker; it denies them the rhetorical tools that turn a jab into a takedown. This leads naturally to Martin’s broader project as an etiquette writer: keeping daily life livable. In workplaces, families, and friendships, refusing to sharpen criticism into a blade can be the difference between a brief irritation and an enduring feud. [...]