Luvvie Ajayi Jones

Why Growth Feels Uncomfortable at First

As the quote implies, the key shift is recognizing discomfort as a predictable companion rather than a stop sign. Once you expect the unease, you can meet it with structure: smaller experiments, supportive peers, and honest reflection. Instead of waiting to “feel ready,” you treat readiness as something that follows action. A simple example is someone changing careers: the first networking call may feel unnatural, even humiliating. But after ten conversations, the discomfort often transforms into competence. What changed wasn’t the world—it was the person’s familiarity with the new terrain. [...]

Breaking Silence to Start Meaningful Change

Even with good intentions, silence can feel like self-preservation. People fear retaliation, social exile, being labeled “difficult,” or simply being wrong. Social psychologists have long described related pressures; for instance, Solomon Asch’s conformity experiments (1951) showed how readily individuals suppress their own perceptions to align with a group. When a room seems united, dissent can feel like stepping off a cliff. Yet the domino metaphor responds to this fear directly: it assumes you may be alone at first. The point isn’t that speaking up is comfortable; it’s that speaking up is often the only way to discover whether others were also privately uneasy, waiting for a signal that honesty is permitted. [...]