Vicky Shilling

Meeting Resistance with Gentle Self-Compassion in Hard Times

In everyday terms, Shilling’s advice can look like a brief check-in: “I notice I’m bracing. Of course I am—this is hard.” For instance, before sending a difficult email, you might feel your stomach drop and your mind search for distractions. Rather than escalating into self-judgment, you acknowledge the discomfort and speak to yourself the way you would to a friend. From that softer stance, it becomes easier to act wisely—perhaps by taking two minutes to breathe, drafting a rough version first, or asking someone for feedback. The resistance may not vanish, but it becomes less controlling. [...]