Choosing With Honesty And Living Without Apology
Choose honestly, then move forward without apology. — Søren Kierkegaard
The Weight of an Honest Choice
Kierkegaard’s injunction, “Choose honestly, then move forward without apology,” distills his lifelong concern with what it means to exist as a self. For him, a choice is not merely a practical decision; it is a declaration of who you are before yourself, others, and, ultimately, God. To choose honestly is to acknowledge your genuine convictions, desires, and doubts instead of hiding behind social expectations or convenient excuses. This honesty is difficult because it exposes you to risk and responsibility, yet Kierkegaard insists that without such exposure, life collapses into inauthenticity and despair.
Against the Safety of Indecision
From this starting point, Kierkegaard targets the temptation to remain suspended in endless hesitation. In works like *Either/Or* (1843), he portrays characters paralyzed by the fear of choosing wrongly, preferring clever reflection over commitment. However, he argues that not choosing is itself a choice—one that erodes inner freedom. By insisting on an honest decision, he pushes us past the illusion that we can stay neutral. The refusal to decide may feel safe, but it quietly shapes your character just as much as any explicit pledge or promise.
The Courage to Accept Responsibility
Once a choice is made, Kierkegaard’s call to move forward “without apology” does not mean ignoring harm or refusing to make amends. Rather, it signals the courage to own your decision without constant backtracking or self-erasing regret. In his *Concluding Unscientific Postscript* (1846), he criticizes the habit of retreating into abstractions whenever decisions become uncomfortable. To move forward is to accept that you will never have perfect information or certainty, yet you still stand behind your path. This posture transforms guilt from a paralyzing force into a catalyst for growth and renewed commitment.
Authenticity in a Conforming World
Furthermore, Kierkegaard’s exhortation challenges the pressure to apologize simply for not conforming. In his critiques of “the crowd,” he argues that public opinion often rewards compromise over integrity. Choosing honestly may alienate you from prevailing norms or disappoint people who expected compliance. Nevertheless, he believes a self built primarily on others’ approval is hollow. By moving forward without apology, you refuse to base your worth on shifting external standards, instead grounding your life in an inward truth that may be invisible—and even offensive—to the majority.
Faith, Risk, and the Leap Beyond Certainty
This attitude culminates in Kierkegaard’s famous idea of the “leap of faith.” In *Fear and Trembling* (1843), he presents Abraham, who acts in obedience to a divine command that defies ethical and rational explanation. Abraham’s act illustrates a terrifying form of honest choosing: he does not know the outcome, yet he commits himself fully. While most decisions are far less extreme, they still require stepping beyond the comfort of guarantees. To choose honestly, then move without apology, is to live with faith—whether religious or secular—that a finite, fallible person can still lead a meaningful life without omniscient certainty.
Living Forward With Responsible Humility
Finally, Kierkegaard’s formula suggests a balance: resolute action coupled with humble awareness. Moving forward without apology is not a license for arrogance; it is a remedy for chronic self-doubt. You act from the best truth you have, remain open to correction, and repair what you can without disowning your prior self. As he famously notes in *Journals and Papers*, “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” Honest choosing, followed by unapologetic yet responsible movement, offers a way to live forwards with integrity even when understanding lags behind.