Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth. — Alan Watts
—What lingers after this line?
A Metaphor for the Impossible Task
Alan Watts’ image is immediately disarming: trying to bite your own teeth is not merely difficult, it is structurally incoherent. The teeth are the instrument of biting, so turning them into the object being bitten creates a loop that cannot be completed. In the same way, the mind that attempts to define “me” is also the very medium through which any definition must be formed. This sets the tone for Watts’ broader point: the self is not a separate thing the mind can hold at arm’s length. Instead, the “definer” and the “defined” are entangled, so the attempt to pin the self down tends to produce circular descriptions—true in a practical sense, yet never final.
The Observer Cannot Step Outside Itself
Moving from metaphor to mechanism, the problem becomes one of viewpoint. To define something cleanly, you usually stand outside it: you measure the object, compare it to others, and describe its boundaries. But with the self, the observer is also the observed, so there is no neutral “outside” position from which the whole self can be captured. This resembles philosophical puzzles about self-reference, where a system struggles to fully account for itself using only its own tools. Watts emphasizes the lived version of that puzzle: the more you look for the one who is looking, the more you encounter only thoughts, feelings, and sensations—contents of experience rather than an independent owner of them.
Identity as a Process, Not a Possession
From there, a natural transition is to ask whether the self is better understood as an ongoing activity rather than a fixed entity. Much of what people call “me” is a stream: memories updating, roles shifting, desires changing, and attention moving from one object to another. Any definition you offer—“I am this kind of person”—tends to freeze a moment and treat it as permanent. Watts’ remark nudges you to notice that the self may function more like a verb than a noun. You can describe patterns—how you usually respond, what you value, what you tend to fear—but these are snapshots of motion, not a final portrait of a static inner object.
Language Creates a Useful but Partial Self
Next comes the role of language. Names, labels, and personal narratives help coordinate life: you sign documents, keep commitments, and explain your past. Yet the “self” built from words is an abstraction—a map rather than the territory. Saying “I am anxious” or “I am confident” can be helpful, but it also turns temporary states into identity claims. Watts often highlighted how grammar quietly smuggles metaphysics into daily speech, as if there must be a solid “someone” behind experience. By pointing to the absurdity of biting your own teeth, he suggests that the linguistic self is convenient for communication, but inadequate as an ultimate answer to what you are.
Eastern Philosophy and the Search for No-Self
This insight aligns with themes in Buddhist thought, where the self is treated not as a permanent essence but as a composite of changing processes. Texts like the Anattalakkhaṇa Sutta (traditionally dated to early Buddhism) argue that what we call self is not found as a stable core when examined—only shifting phenomena that don’t remain under full control. Seen through this lens, Watts’ metaphor becomes almost practical advice: if you look for a definable inner object, frustration is predictable, because the project assumes there is a thing to grasp. Instead, the invitation is to observe experience directly—without requiring it to resolve into a final definition of the observer.
A More Livable Question Than “Who Am I?”
Finally, the quote points toward a gentler approach: rather than trying to finish the self as a definition, treat self-understanding as attentiveness. You can ask, “What is happening right now?” or “What do I habitually cling to?”—questions that illuminate patterns without demanding an impossible, closed-form answer. In everyday life, this shift can be freeing. Instead of forcing yourself into a rigid identity (“This is who I am”), you recognize that you are also the context in which thoughts and feelings arise. The teeth can still bite; they just don’t need to bite themselves to work.
One-minute reflection
What does this quote ask you to notice today?
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