The True Self: Possibility and Yearning in Life
Created at: June 5, 2025
One’s real life is the life they could have led. — Soren Kierkegaard
The Weight of Untaken Paths
Soren Kierkegaard’s assertion compels us to confront the tension between actuality and possibility. He suggests that our 'real life'—the authentic self—might reside not in what we have done, but in the paths we never dared to take. This provocative idea speaks to the everyday experience of regret and longing, which often shadow our lived choices.
Possibility in Kierkegaard’s Philosophy
Building on this thought, Kierkegaard elaborates in works like 'Either/Or' (1843) that the awareness of possibilities is central to human existence. For him, real freedom lies in recognizing the multitude of ways one might live. The self, then, is shaped as much by what it declines as by what it embraces, turning missed chances into a haunting presence.
The Paradox of the Actual Versus the Potential
Yet, actual life and potential life exist in paradoxical relationship. While one's current biography consists of concrete actions and decisions, the imagined self—the person one could have become—continually asserts itself in memory and hope. This dynamic is well illustrated by Marcel Proust’s 'Remembrance of Things Past,' where the protagonist is perennially preoccupied with alternate lives and lost moments.
Existential Yearning and the Search for Meaning
Transitioning to existential psychology, such yearning for alternate realities has deep implications for meaning-making. Psychologists like Viktor Frankl argue that individuals often derive purpose from the tension between who they are and what they aspire to be. Thus, Kierkegaard’s insight becomes a wellspring of motivation but also a source of existential anxiety.
Living Authentically in Light of Lost Possibility
Ultimately, Kierkegaard’s meditation challenges us to pursue authenticity by engaging with our possibilities rather than retreating into resignation. While it is impossible to live every potential life, facing the open question of 'who else could I be?' enriches our self-understanding and prompts us toward bolder, more intentional living—even when the roads not taken linger in the mind.