Loving Deeply: Audre Lorde’s Call for Wholehearted Commitment
Created at: June 22, 2025
Each time you love, love as deeply as if it were forever. — Audre Lorde
The Essence of Loving Without Reservations
Audre Lorde’s exhortation insists that each experience of love should be met with undivided intensity. Rather than holding back out of fear or cynicism, she encourages us to approach every relationship as though it could last a lifetime. This directive speaks to the transformative possibility inherent in vulnerability, where genuine connection is prioritized over self-protection. By choosing to love ‘as if it were forever,’ we embrace the present moment fully, acknowledging both its beauty and its impermanence.
Embracing Love’s Impermanence Through Depth
Moving forward, Lorde’s words gently confront the reality that relationships may not last. However, she advocates for depth rather than duration as the measure of love’s value. This perspective echoes Rainer Maria Rilke’s belief that ‘for one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks’—a task best attempted with our whole selves, regardless of outcome. In doing so, we honor both our partners and ourselves by refusing to let fear diminish our emotional investment.
Historical Precedent: Love and Commitment in Literature
Consider the enduring romances of classic literature, such as Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy in Jane Austen’s *Pride and Prejudice* (1813). Their growth emerges not just from romantic devotion but from an open willingness to engage deeply despite initial obstacles. These stories suggest that the willingness to love fully, even amid uncertainty, enriches both individuals and relationships, turning fleeting encounters into meaningful chapters.
Psychological Benefits of Loving Wholeheartedly
From a psychological perspective, wholeheartedly investing in love can foster emotional resilience and satisfaction. Studies in positive psychology by researchers such as Brené Brown demonstrate that vulnerability—the courage to love deeply—correlates strongly with overall well-being and authentic connection. Thus, Lorde’s quote is not merely poetic but grounded in evidence that suggests we are happier and healthier when we risk loving fully.
Continuing the Cycle of Deep Connection
Ultimately, loving as ‘if it were forever’ can ripple far beyond romantic relationships, influencing how we approach friendships, family, and community. Audre Lorde’s guidance beckons us to be present, passionate, and courageous as we build bonds with others. In so doing, we enrich our own lives and cultivate a world in which every act of love carries the potential for profound and lasting change.