Self-Discovery Through the Lens of Our Affections
Created at: August 9, 2025
The things that we love tell us what we are. — Thomas Aquinas
Unpacking Aquinas’s Insight
Thomas Aquinas’s famous assertion that 'the things that we love tell us what we are' invites us to consider the profound connection between our affections and our identity. Rather than viewing love as a separate force from the self, Aquinas suggests that our choices of what to love serve as powerful mirrors, reflecting our deepest priorities, values, and character.
Historical Context and Philosophical Roots
Building on centuries of philosophical inquiry, Aquinas rooted his thought in both Aristotelian ethics and Christian theology. Aristotle, in his 'Nicomachean Ethics,' posited that our desire for the good shapes who we become. Aquinas extends this idea by intertwining love and the formation of the soul, implying that what draws our affection inevitably becomes part of our moral makeup.
Anecdotes from Religion and Literature
Stories across traditions highlight this truth. Augustine’s 'Confessions' recount how his restless pursuit of lesser loves shaped, and at times distorted, his character until he discovered a higher love in God. Similarly, in literature, Jay Gatsby’s consuming love for Daisy in Fitzgerald’s 'The Great Gatsby' not only defines him but also reveals the contours—and the limits—of his identity.
Modern Perspectives on Identity and Values
Connecting these insights to contemporary life, psychologists suggest that our passions—whether for art, family, cause, or community—align closely with our sense of self. For example, social scientist Brené Brown has observed that wholehearted individuals structure their lives around values they actively cherish, which in turn shapes how they see themselves and interact with the world.
Cultivating Awareness of What We Love
Ultimately, recognizing and reflecting on what we love is a potent exercise in self-discovery. By mindfully curating our affections, we can steer the development of our character. As Aquinas intimates, to love wisely is to live authentically, for in the things we choose to treasure, we continuously reveal—and reshape—who we truly are.