Love as a Verb: bell hooks’s Ethic
Created at: August 10, 2025
Love is an action, never simply a feeling. — bell hooks
From Feeling to Practice
bell hooks reframes love from an emotion into an ethic of doing. In All About Love (2000), she defines love as a willful combination of care, commitment, trust, responsibility, respect, and knowledge—not merely an inward glow. Through this lens, love becomes measurable by what we enact with and for others. A warm feeling may spark connection, yet without consistent action it evaporates into sentimentality. Thus, she urges a shift from asking how love feels to asking what love does. This reframing prepares us to see love not as private romance alone but as a public practice, one that can transform relationships and communities when it is chosen, repeated, and accountable.
Roots in Feminist and Liberation Thought
Building on that foundation, hooks’s stance resonates with earlier currents. Erich Fromm’s The Art of Loving (1956) treats love as a discipline, akin to art that requires training. Likewise, feminist ethics of care—exemplified by Carol Gilligan’s In a Different Voice (1982)—locate moral life in responsive relationships rather than abstract rules. In public life, Martin Luther King Jr. describes agape as “creative, redemptive good will” in Strength to Love (1963), underscoring love as principled action under pressure. These threads converge in hooks’s claim: love is not a mood but a practiced choice, renewed daily and tested in concrete situations. Consequently, theory invites method—how we enact love when it is inconvenient or costly.
The Daily Disciplines of Care
Turning from theory to method, the practice of love shows up in small, repeatable behaviors. Honest speech that tells the truth kindly; reliability that keeps promises; boundaries that protect dignity; and curiosity that seeks to understand—these are love’s ordinary muscles. hooks emphasizes commitment as a pattern, not a pledge made once. Consider a friend who, instead of vague concern, schedules weekly check-ins and follows through; or a parent who apologizes after losing their temper, models repair, and adjusts routines. Such acts are not dramatic, yet, performed over time, they accumulate moral weight. Through these disciplines, feeling finds its form; the heart learns a habit; and love becomes visible.
Repair, Safety, and Attachment
Moreover, action creates the safety in which love can deepen. Attachment theory shows that reliable caregiving fosters secure bonds (Bowlby, Attachment, 1969). Relationship research echoes this: John Gottman’s work highlights how partners who “turn toward” small bids for connection maintain stability over the long term (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, 1999). In conflict, love’s practice becomes repair—owning harm, making amends, and changing behavior. Imagine a heated argument followed by a concrete plan: a cooling-off ritual, a check-in script, and a shared calendar to prevent the same rupture. Here, care is not a promise but a protocol; action is the medium through which trust is rebuilt.
Love as Social Practice and Justice
Extending outward, hooks insists that love must shape institutions and publics. In Teaching to Transgress (1994), she depicts classrooms where care and respect are pedagogical practice, not sentiment. Similarly, movements for justice rely on love as sustained labor: consistent presence at meetings, redistributing resources, and protecting the most vulnerable. The civil rights tradition renders this vividly; King’s agape underwrote nonviolence as disciplined action in the face of harm. Even neighborhood life offers a microcosm—organizing childcare swaps or community fridges turns compassion into infrastructure. In each case, affection without follow-through changes little, while a love ethic reorganizes power toward collective flourishing.
Measuring Love by Consequences
Finally, if love is action, its truth appears in outcomes: greater safety, growth, and freedom. The biblical cadence of 1 Corinthians 13 evaluates love by what it does—patient, kind, not self-seeking—rather than what it feels. hooks follows suit, asking us to audit our relationships and institutions: Do our patterns nurture dignity? Do they repair harm? Do they expand capacity to care? When the answers are yes, feeling is validated by fruit; when no, sentiment is exposed as wishful thinking. Thus the path forward is concrete and teachable: choose practices, sustain them over time, and let love be recognized by the lives it helps to heal.