Today I Choose Happiness: Practicing Emotional Agency
Created at: October 6, 2025
I am in charge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness. — Louise L. Hay
Reclaiming the Locus of Control
Louise L. Hay’s declaration begins with agency: the recognition that our emotional responses, while influenced by circumstance, are ultimately shaped by our interpretations. Psychologists call this an internal locus of control, a belief linked to resilience and motivation (Rotter, 1966). Coupled with self-efficacy—the sense that one can effect change (Bandura, 1977)—the statement becomes more than affirmation; it becomes a daily pledge. From this foundation, the move from intention to implementation is decisive: choosing happiness is not a one-time epiphany but a practiced stance.
From Decision to Daily Practice
So the question becomes how to operationalize choice. Habit science suggests we translate values into cues, routines, and rewards (Duhigg, 2012), or employ if-then plans to bridge intention and action (Gollwitzer, 1999). A simple script—'If I wake, then I savor one good thing'—anchors mood before the day’s noise intrudes. Similarly, micro-routines like a 10-minute walk, morning sunlight, or a mindful breath stack small wins. With practice, the chosen stance of happiness gathers momentum, which naturally leads to the architecture of thought behind these behaviors.
Reframing Thoughts, Rewriting Feelings
Cognitive approaches show that feelings often follow appraisals: change the appraisal, and the feeling shifts. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy laid this out by examining distortions and testing evidence (Beck, 1979), while Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy targeted beliefs that fuel distress (Ellis, 1962). Even brief cognitive reappraisal—'This challenge is feedback, not a verdict'—can reduce stress reactivity. Naming emotions also calms them, a phenomenon observed in affect labeling research (Lieberman et al., 2007). These tools bridge seamlessly to older wisdom that made the same claim in moral language.
Ancient Wisdom, Modern Proof
Stoic teacher Epictetus argued that people are disturbed not by events but by their judgments (Enchiridion, c. 125 CE), while Buddhist mindfulness trains non-reactive awareness. Modern evidence aligns: positive emotions broaden attention and build lasting resources (Fredrickson, 2001), and intentional activities account for a meaningful share of well-being variability (Lyubomirsky, 2007). Thus, choosing happiness is not denial; it is selective cultivation of states that make growth more likely. That cultivation begins with where we place our attention, which gratitude practices make concrete.
Gratitude and Attention as Levers
Directing attention toward blessings reliably lifts mood. In randomized studies, weekly gratitude journaling increased well-being and optimism (Emmons & McCullough, 2003), while the 'Three Good Things' exercise improved happiness for months (Seligman et al., 2005). An anecdote captures it: a nurse ending each shift by noting three moments of care reported fewer ruminations and steadier energy within weeks. Because attention is finite, what we notice becomes our emotional diet; consequently, choosing gratitude trains the mind to spot usable light in ordinary days.
Happiness as a Social Choice
Moreover, our emotions are relational. The Harvard Study of Adult Development found that warm relationships robustly predict health and happiness across decades (Waldinger & Schulz, 2010; Waldinger, TED 2015). Choosing happiness often means choosing connection—sending the text, offering help, or sharing a meal. Acts of kindness can elevate well-being and trust, partly via oxytocin’s social effects (Zak, 2005). In practice, personal agency widens when embedded in supportive ties, preparing us for the days when joy requires collective scaffolding.
Agency Amid Adversity
Crucially, choosing happiness does not erase pain; it reframes our stance toward it. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy advises making space for difficult feelings while moving toward values (Hayes et al., 1999). Hedonic adaptation reminds us that moods drift, yet repeated practices can reset baselines over time (Brickman & Campbell, 1971). Neuroplasticity offers the mechanism: neurons that fire together wire together (Hebb, 1949). Thus, on harsh days, the choice may be modest—one breath, one call, one kind sentence to oneself—but chosen again tomorrow, it becomes a life.