Once boundaries are understood as clarity, the next question is why they can provoke anger or offense. A “no” can disrupt expectations, routines, or a sense of entitlement—especially when someone is accustomed to access without needing to ask. In everyday life, that may look like a friend who always assumes you’ll cover plans, a relative who expects instant availability, or a coworker who offloads tasks at the last minute.
Because “no” is a friction point, it reveals what the relationship was relying on. If the connection depends on your compliance, the boundary doesn’t create the conflict so much as expose it. [...]
