Once you prioritize absorption, you often end up committing to things that resist perfection: raising a child, learning an instrument, doing community work, building a business, writing, caregiving. These arenas reward persistence and presence, not a flawless self. Interestingly, they also tend to cultivate character indirectly—patience, courage, humility—because they confront you with reality.
This is where the quote becomes almost paradoxical: you may become “better” precisely by stopping the attempt to optimize yourself directly. The goodness emerges as a byproduct of showing up for demanding, meaningful commitments rather than curating a perfected identity. [...]
