Ultimately, to turn refusal into a refining tool, we can adopt a simple sequence: name the purpose, list the tradeoffs, propose a principled alternative, and keep the door open for a better fit. A "no, because… and instead…" transforms rejection into guidance.
This approach loops back to Roy’s insight. When no is shaped by care, criteria, and imagination, it ceases to be a wall. It becomes a whetstone—sharpening our work, our institutions, and our lives. [...]
