#Meaningful Experience

Stop Self-Improving, Start Living More Fully

Practically, the quote invites a change in the unit of measurement. Instead of asking, “Am I improving?” you might ask, “Am I engaged?” That can mean planning fewer self-renovation projects and doing more things that absorb attention: hosting dinner even if you’re awkward, taking the long walk without tracking it, joining the amateur choir, building something with your hands. Over time, the irony is that this shift may still change you—often more reliably than self-improvement programs do. But the transformation is a byproduct, not the obsession. By privileging absorption over self-polishing, you stop treating life as a means to becoming “better” and start treating it as the thing you’re actually here to live. [...]

Choosing an Absorbing Life Over Constant Productivity

The move from productive to absorbing is less about grand reinvention than small re-prioritizations. It can mean protecting uninterrupted blocks for something intrinsically worthwhile, letting certain tasks remain imperfect, or choosing one nourishing commitment over three impressive ones. It also means tolerating the anxiety of not squeezing every drop of “value” from time. A simple anecdote captures this: someone who spends a Saturday reorganizing their entire life may feel momentarily in control, yet strangely empty by evening; another person who spends the same Saturday hiking with a friend, lingering over lunch, and coming home tired may have nothing to show—except a day that feels real. Burkeman’s counsel is to prefer the second kind of day more often. [...]