Look for the Helpers, Find Resilience
Created at: September 22, 2025
When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers.' — Fred Rogers
A Mother’s Reframe Becomes a Lifeline
At the outset, Fred Rogers recalls his mother’s counsel as a way to steady a child’s mind in the face of frightening headlines: when fear spikes, redirect attention toward those who are helping. This simple reframe does not deny danger; rather, it widens the lens so courage and care share the frame with chaos. Rogers repeated the line across interviews and writings, turning a family saying into a public ethic. In doing so, he offered a habit of perception that children can actually practice—looking for paramedics, neighbors, and volunteers—as an antidote to helplessness.
Mister Rogers’ Public Reminders in Hard Times
From there, he carried the message into moments of collective grief. In a brief PBS message after 9/11 (2001), Rogers looked into the camera and gently urged viewers to notice the helpers as proof that love works in the world. Likewise, Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood regularly built practical episodes around scary themes—like death, conflict, and sudden change—modeling how to name feelings and seek support. By pairing reassurance with concrete guidance, he showed that comfort is not passivity; it is preparation for thoughtful action.
Why the Advice Works: Psychology of Attention
Moreover, the guidance aligns with how minds handle threat. Our negativity bias makes bad news feel louder (Baumeister et al., 2001), while anxiety narrows attention to worst‑case cues. Looking for helpers functions as cognitive reappraisal: it updates the story to include resources and agency. Seeing support also boosts perceived efficacy (Bandura, 1997), which predicts problem-solving and perseverance. Finally, social support buffers stress physiology and distress (Cohen & Wills, 1985), so noticing—and then approaching—helpers can measurably ease fear.
Helpers in Action: Lessons from Real Crises
For example, during the maritime evacuation of Manhattan on 9/11, a spontaneous fleet of mariners moved hundreds of thousands to safety (U.S. Coast Guard, 2001). In Hurricane Harvey (2017), the ‘Cajun Navy’ and neighbors with flatboats rescued stranded families before formal teams arrived. Even during COVID‑19, mutual‑aid networks delivered groceries and medications across cities. These cases differ in scale yet share a pattern: ordinary people, noticing need, become the connective tissue between danger and relief. Looking for them clarifies where to plug in.
Training Our Gaze: News, Bias, and Solutions
Meanwhile, media habits can magnify fear or bolster resolve. Because outrage captures clicks, we often overconsume problem‑centric stories. A practical counter is solutions journalism—reporting that covers responses and their results. Studies find that solutions‑focused stories increase readers’ efficacy and willingness to act (McIntyre, 2019). Thus, when headlines overwhelm, pair each crisis article with a response piece, follow credible local agencies, and bookmark volunteer portals. By curating inputs, we train attention to find the civic muscle, not just the wound.
From Watching to Doing: Becoming the Helper
Consequently, the quote is an invitation to join the frame. Start small: learn CPR/first aid (American Red Cross), register as a blood donor, or take Psychological First Aid training (WHO, 2011). In neighborhoods, join CERT, map skills and vulnerabilities, and build phone trees. For families, have children draw the helpers they know—nurses, bus drivers, neighbors—and assemble simple “kindness kits” with water, snacks, and bandages. Social science shows that modeled action spreads (Bandura, 1977) and that naming someone to help disrupts the bystander effect (Darley & Latané, 1968). Looking for helpers, we discover how to be one.