Still, willingness to change is costly because it often requires grieving an older self. When someone outgrows a belief or admits wrongdoing, they may feel they are losing status, certainty, or belonging. Vuong’s phrasing acknowledges that this vulnerability is part of the moral beauty: to be changed is to accept that the ego is not the highest priority.
Here, transformation resembles a kind of surrender—less about becoming perfect than becoming responsive. Instead of clinging to a coherent story about oneself, the person allows life and relationships to re-write that story, even when the revisions are painful. [...]
