Perhaps the secret of living well is not in having all the answers but in pursuing unanswerable questions in good company. — Rachel Naomi Remen
—What lingers after this line?
A Different Measure of Wisdom
Rachel Naomi Remen shifts the idea of a good life away from mastery and certainty. Instead of treating wisdom as the possession of final answers, she suggests that living well may depend on how we travel through mystery. In that sense, the quote quietly challenges a culture that rewards conclusions, reminding us that some of the most meaningful human concerns—love, loss, purpose, mortality—cannot be solved like equations. From there, her insight becomes liberating rather than frustrating. If not every important question can be answered, then uncertainty is not necessarily failure. It can be a sign that we are engaging with life at its deepest level, where honest inquiry matters more than neat resolution.
The Value of Unanswerable Questions
Unanswerable questions endure because they keep enlarging us. Questions such as “What makes a life meaningful?” or “How should we face suffering?” do not yield once and for all; instead, they evolve as we do. As Socrates in Plato’s Apology (c. 399 BC) suggests through his relentless questioning, wisdom often begins in recognizing the limits of what one knows. Consequently, these questions are less like locks waiting for keys and more like landscapes inviting return. Each season of life changes how they appear, and each encounter with them asks for renewed humility. Remen’s point, therefore, is not that answers are useless, but that some questions are valuable precisely because they remain open.
Companionship as a Form of Meaning
Yet the quote does not praise solitary contemplation alone; it places special emphasis on “good company.” This phrase transforms the search for meaning from a private burden into a shared human practice. Friends, family, teachers, and fellow seekers do not remove life’s mysteries, but they make them more bearable and more fertile by listening, challenging, and accompanying us. In this way, companionship becomes part of the answer even when the question remains unresolved. Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning (1946) shows that human connection can sustain people even amid extreme uncertainty. Remen similarly implies that the quality of those beside us may matter as much as the certainty we hope to achieve.
Conversation Over Conclusion
Because of this emphasis on company, the quote also celebrates dialogue. A good conversation does not always end in agreement, yet it can deepen understanding by revealing perspectives we could not have reached alone. The Jewish tradition of havruta, paired study and argument, offers a fitting example: truth is pursued through ongoing exchange rather than final closure. Accordingly, living well may involve learning how to remain present in conversations that do not tie everything up. Instead of demanding conclusion, we practice attentiveness, curiosity, and patience. Remen’s insight suggests that the search itself becomes richer when it unfolds between people willing to wonder together.
Humility in the Face of Mystery
There is also an ethical dimension to Remen’s words. To pursue unanswerable questions requires humility, because it means admitting that life exceeds our control and comprehension. This stance resists arrogance and invites compassion; once we recognize that others are also navigating uncertainty, we may judge them less harshly and listen more generously. For that reason, the quote echoes the spirit of John Keats’s idea of “negative capability” (1817), the ability to remain “in uncertainties, Mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact.” Remen does not glorify confusion for its own sake; rather, she honors the mature strength required to dwell thoughtfully within it.
A Practical Philosophy of Living Well
Ultimately, the quote offers a practical philosophy rather than an abstract one. It encourages us to stop postponing life until certainty arrives and to begin instead with the questions already before us. We live well not by conquering every mystery, but by meeting it honestly, revisiting it over time, and allowing trusted companions to shape our understanding. Thus the secret of living well may be surprisingly simple: ask better questions, walk with others, and let meaning emerge through shared reflection. In a world obsessed with definitive answers, Remen’s wisdom stands as a gentle corrective, reminding us that depth, not certainty, is often the truest measure of a life.
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